MY TEN-YEAR CANCERVERSARY! LET'S CLOSE THIS CHAPTER!

 A DECADE OF VALLEYS AND VICTORIES 2011-2021

Before I close this chapter of my life that has covered an entire decade, I want to blog a few words of encouragement and hopefully be a voice of reason to help others, especially women who may face breast cancer. Today, March 14, is my Cancerversary, which marks the day of my confirmed diagnosis, the day I received that phone call that changed my plans and my life. This year on this date I mark a major milestone of 10 years as survivor. I have undergone all treatments and surgeries to the satisfaction of my Oncologist to be released from annual checkups because “we can be relatively sure that you are cured from the disease.”

Mentally closing this chapter is so important. I will no longer entertain the threat of a return of this disease and therefore not be apprehensive about every ache and pain and spot that appears on my body. I haven’t been tormented by worry or fretted about an occurrence of cancer, but there is a certain flash of wonder once you have heard the statement, “you have cancer.” That word lurks in the corners of your mind and pops up even before you can form your own thoughts. Many times I have “taken thoughts captive,” and reminded myself that I AM HEALED. 

EARLY DETECTION IS SO VITAL.

On December 14, 2009, I received a letter form River Region’s Women’s Diagnostic Imaging Center informing me that my mammogram screening was normal. Fast forward to December 2010. With the hustle and bustle of Christmas, helping move my elderly mother in with my brother, and packing for a 3-month trip to Albuquerque, New Mexico, I decided to delay my annual mammo until I returned in the Spring. Here’s where “early detection” warning comes in. I could possibly have had less chemotherapy treatments (I had 8 strong ones) if the cancer cells had been detected in the fall of 2020. The cancer was aggressive (Triple Negative) and so by March it was golf-ball size and had spread to the lymph nodes. Quite possibly I could have avoided the 35 radiation treatments and maybe a small section of tissue could have been removed from my breast rather than radical bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction which involved 7 surgeries in 2 years. I truly believe a few months made a difference in my treatment plan in my case. (NOTE: do not neglect your annual checkups and mammograms! It does matter!)

REACHING OUT TO OTHERS

Going through cancer and recovery has taught me so much in empathy for other cancer patients (or anyone going through a debilitating disease) that I didn’t have before. In these 10 years, I have been offered many opportunities to speak to groups or write articles about my healing and recovery, and express to them how they too can survive with grace. Always, always, the honor goes to my Jesus, my ultimate Healer who was with me in every treatment, surgery, and panic moment. I have gained a trust in Him that no matter what comes my way, He will never leave me or forsake me. I started blogging and was able to get a book published, Seasons for a Reason, to give testimony of God’s goodness and grace. Copies have gone to Canada, the Philippines, Japan and all across America.

ANSWERING THE WHYS

Although I may never understand why I had to endure this cancer journey, I will now close the chapter and embrace the next chapter of my life. A friend once told me, “I will not live one day longer than God intends me to, so I will not fear (the return of cancer).” That gives me peace to know that my life is in His hands and will end according to His will. If He has allowed me to remain here, God has something for me to do to help further His Kingdom, and I must make every day count! (“Teach me to number my days.”) Oh, what a glorious thought -He needs me!

SO MUCH GRATITUDE

Many, many people to thank, but at the beginning of this journey, God led us to Dr. Sylvia Ramos in Albuquerque, who immediately got me the most excellent medical care and tests. She told Michael when they were out in the hall, “Whatever you do, don’t drop your insurance.” That was his sign that it wasn’t “looking good.” After a week of mammograms, ultrasounds, and biopsy, the doctor called me on March 14, 2011, and gave me the report which would start the journey to recovery. We returned to Mississippi where we were then led to the most caring and knowledgeable doctors in our area – Dr. Phillip Ley, Dr. Tammy Young, Dr. Zachow, and Dr. Runnels, who guided me through 2 years of treatments and surgeries. I cannot even put into adequate words the love that my husband has shown me throughout my journey. To rub my bald head and look into my weary face drained from the effects of chemotherapy, and say, “my pretty girl,” epitomizes the caring love he had for me. Besides the fact that he cancelled all work assignments for a year to be home with me throughout my treatments and surgeries.  For months and years, he has been by my side. Many thanks go to my family and friends who supported me with books, flowers, cards, Scripture encouragement, and most importantly prayers. You never know the value of prayers and support until you go through something like this. To have a loving Father God to be with me cannot be described either. All glory and honor belong to HIM!

IPsalm 34:3-8, “Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. … This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles. … Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him.”

Books can be ordered at rebeccalogue.com

Is All Well?

IS ALL WELL?

One of my favorite modern-day Christmas songs is “All Is Well,” sung by Carrie Underwood and Michael W. Smith.  As I listened this morning, I thought, “Lord, all is NOT well in our world today; how can we sing “Alleluia, all is well?” When Christmas season is usually the time of joy, peace, and love, this year has been one of so much suffering, death, loneliness and grief, and Christmas just feels weird.  Joy has been sapped right out of us and peace has to be found with concerted effort.  A heaviness hovers over us all and our struggles seem magnified as we try to celebrate.

But wait… what is the Christmas celebration all about anyway? Go with me in your mind and visit the nativity. Nativity scenes are everywhere; every Christian home usually has one (I have a friend who has a collection of 100’s) either sitting on a table, or a picture of one. This scene is the universal symbol of the birth of the Christ child. Ok, let’s peek in and see who is there. Mary, having been on a long journey and given birth to her baby in a stable with no family around her, is admiring her baby boy. Joseph is standing nearby ready to help care for this little family, but he is tired and confused. He is saddened by the fact that he could not find a room for them and had to resort to a dirty stable – a place where animals are kept. His mind is weary because he has spent months being ridiculed and rejected – some of his townsfolk were ready to stone him and Mary because they could not believe their stories of angel visits and a virgin conception. Now here they were, in a strange land, in a stable, with a newborns baby. The baby that is the Messiah, King of Kings, Savior of the World. Look a little further into this cave/stable and you will see shepherds there. A King is born, and angels told shepherds first. What? Low-class, dirty shepherds. They had heard all their lives that a Messiah was to be born, and were astonished on their way to Bethlehem that they would be able to see the baby that would change the whole world.

Nothing I have described in this stable scene was perfect. Nothing made sense. Nothing had been planned this way. There were many struggles up to this point. Who could look at that scene at that moment and say, “Alleluia, all is well?” EXCEPT… look closely at the center of the nativity. There is Emmanuel, Jesus Christ! Even though the circumstances surrounding his birth were not perfect in man’s eyes, the perfection was in the hope of the future of the Messiah who would redeem us! This moment in time would pivot mankind to be rescued once and for all by the sacrifice Jesus would make in a few decades. The HOPE is what you see in the swaddling clothes in the manger.

If we look at our own messy lives, we may feel lonely (like Mary) because we have lost family members this year, or gone through separations of relationships we thought would last forever. We may feel rejection or confusion (as Joseph did) as we face circumstances beyond our control. We may even feel lowly and unworthy (as the shepherds did). We feel we haven’t accomplished much and society looks down on us. We all feel tired and weary.

In the midst of the uncertainty, confusion and exhaustion, a Savior, the GREAT I AM, has come to earth.  That little baby in the center of the nativity wants to be the center of my world! And if I see Him for what He can bring to my life – joy, peace, love, I can truly sing, “Alleluia, all is well!”  If I trust Him that “all things work together for my good,” I can sing, “all is well.” If I focus on the Kingdom of God and not on surrounding struggles, I can sing “Alleluia” and rejoice in knowing ALL IS WELL! 

"Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call His name Emmanuel...God with us."  Matthew 1:23

A Seed With Persistence

A Seed With Persistence

“But we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”  Romans 5:3-5

     The pavement seemed to stretch on endlessly on this warm Mississippi morning as I hurriedly tried to get in my fitness walk before the thermometer maxed out at 95 degrees.  Even in the 80-degree temperature, the asphalt was radiating with heat and offered no spots of cool relief, not even in the shade. 

     As I pounded away thinking how wonderful it would be to be finished and home in the cool house, something caught my eye.  A small flower… growing up through the pavement!  I thought it must be a mirage of some sort. Plants cannot penetrate the weight and thickness of concrete.  But it did.

     How did that delicate flower that could be snapped with one finger work its way up through that dense asphalt?  Talk about persistence and patience!  It started as a tiny seed that fell into a crack and got washed down under the roadway. Let’s consider what is contained in a seed, though. 

     A tiny seed contains all the components to become a sizable plant. Its future and growth are all contained inside its shell.  It needs moisture from rain and needs light and heat from the sunshine. But that embryo has an endosperm food supply and a coating to protect it until it reaches fertile soil. 

     As it sprouted, the seedling bumped against the hardness of the concrete but, tiny bit by tiny bit, it found a small crack in the pavement. It stuck a little green thread though the crack to reach for the sunlight.  Then all of a sudden, it broke through to the top! Ahhhh… sunshine and rain water could get to the plant and strengthen its growth.      

     Life throws us into the pavement sometimes.  We feel like there is no way to get to the light.  But remember, God has placed within us everything we need to be victorious – faith, trust, and an eternal perspective. 

     Jesus told His disciples they only needed faith the size of a grain of mustard seed, as small as the period at the end of this sentence.  With that level of faith, we can “move the mountains,” or sprout through the pavement crack. 

“…Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘move here to there,’ and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.”  Matthew 17:20

     Patience is so required in these times, and perseverance is a must. We know that if we keep our face toward the Light, He will give us strength to fight through the trials and challenges we encounter. 

     There was a particular year in my life when I felt like I was “under the pavement.”  I was going through a divorce, my father passed away, my teenage son was going through a very difficult time, I got bit by a dog (on my fitness walk!), and trial after trial just kept pressing me under the pavement. 

     I kept trying to push my fragile stem into the crack and up into the light but, each time I did, there seemed to be a wall.  I never lost my faith; I never lost my   joy; and I never lost my praise.   I knew the Father of Lights had His eye on me. Surely enough the next year brought nourishment for my soul, and I was able to bask in the sunshine of God’s love.       There were those who were surprised to hear what was going on in my life and shocked that I could grow through those circumstances. I would always point them to the One Who Gives Me Strength. 

     How did I endure when the struggle seemed too unbearable?  How do we stand when the challenges push us down?  My nephew and pastor for over 20 years, Mike Fields, once said in a sermon, “borrow joy from your future.” 

     Picture the joyful end.  Visualize the victory. As Jesus hung on the cross, Scripture says He endured the sufferings because of the joy set before Him.  He knew that He would defeat death, hell, and the grave, experience the joy of the resurrection and ultimately be seated at the right hand of God. 

     So… “can we really rejoice in advance?” Yes!  We can choose to “prejoice.”  How do we add the “P” to rejoice?  Prayer, Persistence Patience, and Praise. We must change our focus and concentrate on the joy that will surely be in our future.  If we will do our part, our Creator will surely do His and we will break through and bloom for His glory.