Faith AND Trust

With so many catastrophic and unexpected life-changing events this year that have literally knocked people to their knees, my prayer is for complete and TOTAL trust in the Father for each person affected.  He sincerely wants what is best for us, with eternity in mind.

The doctor’s words seem to float around the room above my head, circling and dipping, but never really landing in my mind to ease their way into my heart and soul.  “Cancer.” “Biopsy.”  “Tumor.”  “Surgery.” “Chemotherapy.”  “Radiation.”  “So sorry!”  No, No!  Those words were not for me.  It was as though I was in a whirlwind and soon the cyclone would stop and I would wake from this awful nightmare. 

I already had painful fibromyalgia to deal with on a daily basis.  Surely God would not allow cancer, too.  No, I would not accept this.  This diagnosis was someone else’s.  The records must have been switched in the lab.  But… as days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, I came to accept that I had Triple Negative Breast Cancer and would go into “warrior mode” for a few years and fight with God’s assistance to eradicate it from my body!

Now I had strong faith.  Have always had faith in God and His healing power.  I got up every morning and felt my breast to see if the lump was gone.  I had people praying for me from coast to coast, and I believed that I could be instantly healed, and my worries dissipate just like the lump.  I knew healing was possible because I had been healed of migraine headaches, Rheumatoid Arthritis, and was miraculously spared from death in a car crash.  My faith was in place for another instant miracle. 

But God had another plan for my healing.  It was time to learn total trust, trust that would bring security, confidence, assurance, and ultimately JOY.  My FAITH said I could be healed instantly.  But TRUST said if I wasn’t healed, God was still in control.  I heard a preacher at Pinelake Church say, “Faith told Jesus that 10,000 angels could release Him from the cross, but trust in the Father told Him there was joy on the other side of suffering.”  (Hebrews 12:2)  It’s easy to have faith when the results are going to be in our favor, but to say, “thy will be done,” and not know what path He will lead us on is a different scenario.  We pray in faith to obtain an end result, but when we step it up a level to trust, we know that even when the end results are unfavorable, God has a better plan.  We have faith for the rains to stop, but it takes deep trust when the home is flooded and life’s treasures are gone forever.  We have faith that our love one will be healed, but trust God’s plan when His ultimate healing is for them to come home to be with Him. 

How many times have I ended a prayer with, “my faith and trust are in you, Lord?”  I would lump the two together thinking,“I have faith to believe you will give me whatever I ask for” (enter spoiled child). But when I learned to separate faith and trust, and include, “your ways are higher than mine, and your thoughts are above my thoughts; therefore, you know what is best for my life,” and, “all things work together for my good,” my prayers became more powerful and my relationship with God my Father more absolute.  I’m still not to the point that I say, “I’m glad I had cancer," but I’m certainly thankful for the many God-lessons I learned in the process.