An Uncluttered In-Box for the New Year

As I sit here on the eve of the New Year watching a bowl game with my husband, I am cleaning out the messages in my e-mail IN-BOX – I have 2,531 messages!  It has obviously been a long while since I cleaned them out.  So here I am deleting and deleting so I can start with a clean box for the New Year.  As I go down the row, I have to stop and open some of them and read them one more time - it’s like revisiting an old friend, or reliving a memory of an event that was fun.  Several of the messages are from friends who have passed away and that strikes a sad chord in my heart.  But, oh the exuberance of getting all those messages cleaned out once and for all! 

Here's hoping I can do the same with my mind.  It seems I have about the same number (2,531) thoughts and ideas that need to go – I need to delete them, send them to the recycle bin - and not go back and retrieve them!  Give myself a “clean slate” for the New Year!

Those e-mail messages did not all appear in one day- it is an accumulation over time.  I let a few stack up and then some more came in, and then some more, and before I realized it, I had 1,000’s.  I could ignore them for months, but then my computer slowed down or I got overwhelmed when I tried to find an important message that I needed in a hurry.  And I always hope I don’t get a message that contains a virus! 

The beginning of the New Year is a great time to mentally toss out bad memories, negative thoughts, and anything that “exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” (I Corinthians 10:5).  I want to get rid of all those before they crowd out the positive thoughts and the Word of God that guides my mind to righteousness and peace.  I know the feeling of being overwhelmed with negative thoughts and foolish ideas, and I know the peace that comes when I saturate my mind with positive thoughts and God’s peaceful words. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  Philippians 4:6-8

Isn’t it refreshing when the calendar flips over to a whole new year?  365 blank blocks to fill in.  More birthdays to celebrate, more babies to be born, more adventures to be experienced.  I am going to make an effort this year to keep my messages deleted periodically, and also to keep my mind uncluttered as well.  Happy 2014 – a year of blessings and triumphs for us all! 

TO SEE AS SIMEON SAW

When reading the Christmas story in December each year, I usually focus on Mary.  I am always inspired by how she was so receptive of God’s plan for her life, even though there would be many trials and ridicule for months to come.  I yearn to have a heart like hers, and be highly favored in God’s eyes.   

But this year, I keep being drawn to the part of the holy story in Luke Chapter 2, where the infant Jesus was taken to the temple and Simeon held him in his arms – what he had been waiting for all his life.  And studying the painting of Ron DiCiannie’s, “Simeon’s Moment,” I am awestruck!  The expression on Simeon’s face as he is realizing he is holding the Messiah…  wow!  

 

 

Think about this – how many babies had he lifted up for blessing in his lifetime?  And each time he was thinking, “is this the promised Messiah?”  Now this day as he held the baby Jesus in his arms, he knew in his heart that THIS was the one!  And why did he SEE Jesus in the dimensions that he did?  Because he WANTED to see Him.  He had asked God not to let him die until he saw the Messiah.  The scriptures say that the Holy Spirit was upon him.  The Holy Spirit led him to the temple.  The Holy Spirit revealed to him the salvation prepared for all nations.  And he got what he desired in his heart.  

From Luke 2:25 – 35 (NIV), “ Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him.  It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord’s Messiah.  Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying: 

“Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
    you may now dismiss your servant in peace.
 For my eyes have seen your salvation,
     which you have prepared in the sight of all nations:
 a light for revelation to the Gentiles,
    and the glory of your people Israel.”

The child’s father and mother marveled at what was said about him.  Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

This Christmas as I look at baby Jesus, I don’t want to just look at a little baby in swaddling clothes, but I want the Holy Spirit to help me see as Simeon saw – in the dimensions that show me a Lord for my entire existence  - and for future generations.  I desire to see a Savior, a redeemer, and a King for all eternity.  And if I truly want to SEE Him this Christmas, he WILL reveal Himself to me.   

Trust of the Tree

Trust of the Tree

Being trapped indoors on this blustery rainy day was a needed pause from the hectic schedule I had created for myself after getting the big black boot off my broken leg.  From where I was sitting and studying, I could see out the back window and periodically the swaying of the trees would catch my eye.  They swayed back and forth, and back and forth, as the wind bent them ever so slightly, but maintained a stature of solid trust:  trust in the age-old root system, trust in the flexibility of the branches, and trust in the changing of seasons. 

Leaves were blowing in autumn fashion as the winds plucked them from the branches and sent them spinning into the air before landing on the rain-soaked ground in piles. You would think that the tree could keep its leaves as shelter for the winter months, huh? But God has so designed that all the leaves will fall off - one by one by one – until every leaf has fallen, and the tree will stand barren and bleak throughout the cold winter days. But the tree does not despair.  Oh the trust of the tree.  

“A tree says: My strength is trust. I know nothing about my fathers, I know nothing about the thousand children that every year spring out of me. I live out the secret of my seed to the very end, and I care for nothing else. I trust that God is in me. I trust that my labor is holy. Out of this trust I live.”  Hermann Hesse, Baume, Betrachtungen and Gedichte 

A massive pecan tree in our backyard has stood tall and strong for many winters. Even with its great height and reach, and its age of a century and a half, the fall and winter seasons continue to strip the massive pecan of every leaf.   And it stands strong and waits… It has a deep-rooted trust that once the winter season has passed, it will again spring forth with the glorious greenery that is refreshing and full of life.  The birds and creatures will return to build their nests and the coolness of the foliage will become their sanctuary.   

 
There have been times when I have felt stripped and barren like my life was in a fall season, followed by a harsh winter without any break between.  Getting a diagnosis of cancer started the crisp and relentless winds of fall.  Chemotherapy treatments stripped me of leaves.  Surgeries one after the other stripped more leaves.  Side effects of chemotherapy left me without a hair – more leaves fell.  Radiation treatments took away my energy – that finished off the leaves.  Then I was in winter feeling barren like the tree that stands stark against the winter sky with the twinkle of the stars peeking between each branch.  But…  spring was coming!  Having His Word hidden in my heart as I had been instructed as a child gave me deep-rooted trust that my leaves would return and my tree would stand tall and green as before.  And even more, my trust would be stronger than ever and I would have grown. 

 

It is known that trees continue to grow even in winter.  And it is in those winter months that the tree sends down deeper roots so that it can stand taller and endure stronger winds and storms that will test it when it once again bears the weight of new leaves and new branches.   

Psalm 52:8 “But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.” 

Jeremiah 17:7, “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.”

"EAT IT AND HUSH"

THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO MY MOTHER, Tommie Grace Fields, the "Best Mother in the Whole Wide World,” who is turning 91 years old today!

She has been called Amazing Grace, and to have packed so much life into 90 years is really amazing!  She started life as a twin of Tom Grady and was the 9th child born to parents who would eventually end up with 11 children.  (Grandma Marshall had 2 sets of twins after having 7 children!) Having listened to so many tales from Mother and her siblings, we know that they experienced the joys of a large family like most of us can never understand.  So it comes as no surprise that my mother had 7 children of her own. 

One aspect of having so many children that amazes me about my grandmother and then my mother was the ability to make “something from nothing” at meal time no matter how many were at the table.  I cannot imagine the stress of feeding so many, especially when there was not a stock of food to pull from.  They lived off the land – there was no running to Wal Mart or Kroger to get ingredients for a gourmet recipe!   My mom had great culinary skills, but most of the time didn’t have all the ingredients she would like to have so she would make do with what she had.  There was always a fabulous meal on the table and we would leave full and satisfied.  Oftentimes there would be a dish or casserole that we were not too sure about.  If you dared to ask what was in it... she would reply, "Eat it and hush."  Thus became the standard "Eat It and Hush" title for those mystery dishes.  And the best part was – it was something delicious and we would gobble it right up.  We didn’t have to know the ingredients; we just trusted that she would always give us what was tasty and nutritional. 

Reminds me of times when God will allow something to happen in my life and I’m saying, “God, what is THIS?”  And He is probably saying something like, “Eat it and hush.”   I have the assurance that He is always looking out for my best interest – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  Also we can, “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.”  (Psalm 34:8).  When I have overcome and reflect on God’s goodness even through what I thought was “unsavory,” I can truly say it all worked for my good.  Not that the individual “ingredients” were pleasing at the time, but the finished product has made me stronger and I have more faith. 

I am so thankful today for all the life lessons my mother taught me and feel so blessed to be her child. I am also so thankful to be the child of a loving God who always works things for my good - and His eternal purpose!

 

HAPPPY 91st birthday Amazing Grace!!

 

 

SCARS WITH PURPOSE

"Never be ashamed of the scars that life has left you with.  A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed, you endured the pain, and God has healed you."  (unknown).

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, erase my scars, erase them all." When I look into the mirror I have to admit I am not really happy about all the scars I have. I had to have two mastectomies, 35 rounds of radiation, and 4 reconstructive surgeries to eradicate the aggressive breast cancer that had invaded my body without warning or permission. And those life-saving remedies have left me looking like I ran naked into a barbed wire fence (felt like it for a while, too).  Please don't get me wrong, I am so thankful to be alive, and so thankful to Dr. Runnels for the amazing reconstruction he did. But even with the best surgeon's work, scars remain and there are times when the woman in me gets her feelings hurt. 

"SCARS ARE STORIES - HISTORY WRITTEN ON THE BODY." (Kathryn Harrison) 

And then there are the emotional scars that are hidden from the mirror's reflection, and that you cannot see if you look at me.  I have them hidden way down in my heart.  But sometimes, my mind will rub over them.  And though the wounds have healed, the scar is still there to remind me of something someone said that hurt me, or something I did that disappointed God or my family.  Or maybe there is a small scar from an incident that happened totally out of my control.  And there is no Mederma or Bioderm to fade those scars!

It is true that time heals all wounds - emotionally and physically - and with passing time, it gets easier to look in the mirror, or visit those places deep in my heart, but there is always a scar that remains from each wound.

"From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story.  A story that says, 'I survived'."  (Craig Scott)

One thing that has changed my perspective on scars is Mandisa’s powerful new song, "Scars.”  My goodness, I think she wrote it just for me!  She sings about how our scars remind us of God's power that helped us overcome and how our brokenness can be used for His purpose.

"…I see it on the cross, The nails You took for me; Scars can change the world, Scars can set me free..."

These few lines bring Jesus Christ right into the mental picture!  HIS scars are the ones that set me free.  HIS scars are the reason I am healed of cancer and am alive!!  His sacrifice on the cross even healed my emotional wounds!  How can I ever fret over my own scars when I think of His? Nails driven into His hands and feet, a spear pierced into His side, and scars from being whipped to the point of death. 

Not that I could ever put myself on the same level with Jesus, but I feel closer to Him in a totally different way - like "fellow sufferers."  Yes, His scars have healed me, and yes, my scars are a reminder of his healing.  But more than anything, my scars serve as a reminder of His faithfulness! His great faithfulness and new mercies every morning! Even all the scars of the heart - of past failures and hurt - fade away when seen in the light of His love.  He put His scars to work for me.  Now it is my desire to put my scars to work for Him! 

Romans 8:15-17 (The Message) "This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!"

SCARS (Mandisa)  (C) 2013 Sparrow Records

These scars aren’t pretty
But they’re a part of me
And will not ever fade away
These marks tell a story
Of me down in the valley
And how You reached in with Your grace
And healed me

They remind me of Your faithfulness
And all You brought me through
They teach me that my brokenness
Is something You can use
They show me where I’ve been and
That I’m not there any more
That’s what scars, that’s what scars are for
what scars are for

Erase, rewind
Wish I could every time
The hurt, the pain cuts so deep
But when I’m weak You’re strong
And in Your power I can carry on
And my scars say that You won’t ever leave

They remind me of Your faithfulness
And all You brought me through
They teach me that my brokenness
Is something You can use
They show me where I’ve been and
That I’m not there any more
That’s what scars, that’s what scars are for

I see it on the cross
The nails You took for me
Scars can change the world
Scars can set me free

They remind me of Your faithfulness
And all You brought me through
They teach me that my brokenness
Is something You can use
They show me where I’ve been and
That I’m not there any more
That’s what scars, that’s what scars are for
They show me that’s what scars are for
What scars are for.

Rain in the Valley?

Once again I find myself in the valley. Trouble unexpectedly pulled me from my safe little perch on the mountainside and is dragging me through another situation totally out of my control.  Feeling like I can't take another step through this seemingly endless sprawl of confusion and strife, storm clouds gather and it starts to rain!  "Enough already," I think to myself. 

I look through the fog ahead in the distance and outlined against the sky is my mountain.  There's where I was not so long ago - I was dancing and skipping along and singing praises and feeling like such a conqueror!  What happened?  Where is God now?  As I stand with tears falling as fast as the rain, all I can think of is, "how can I get back to that mountaintop?"  My pity party is short-lived, though.  You know what they say about pity parties - you are the only one that attends and nobody brings refreshments!  God has something to show me in the valley - encouragement for my soul that I would not get otherwise. 

I have always quoted Psalm 121 and declared that the mountains are where I get my strength (that is where God is, right?).  But after reading The Message Bible version, I have a whole new perspective.     

"I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains? No, my strength comes from God, who made heaven, and earth, and mountains." Psalm 121 (The Message)

Here are a few of the life lessons I have learned in the valley:
1.  God is always with us; He said that He would never leave or forsake us.  Never.  Even though the circumstances seem to be separating us from Him, He is only a whisper away.  Even in the valley of the shadow of death, He is right there.  When there have been times I have only had the strength to say, "Jesus," in an instant I could feel His presence with me.  How awesome is that?

2.  He wants to teach us that He is our source of strength.  If we are on the mountaintop and all is going well, we can feel really independent at times.  But when we are having troubles that we cannot control, that is when we rely on His strength and know it had to come from Him. 
 
3.  He shows us that the rain in the valley is making a stream where we can be refreshed. If you ask me where I like to travel I will, without hesitation, tell you somewhere in the mountains.  I love the Rockies, I love the Smokies - well, any mountains.  I would love someday to go see the majesty of the Alps. In the mountains where overwhelming beauty is all around, I am so in awe of God's creations.  But the streams in the valleys are what refresh me the most.  I love to stand in the water swirling around my feet and feel the invigorating coolness. 

4.  The mountain is always in view.  No matter where you go in the valley, you can still see the mountain.  We lived in Albuquerque for almost a year and we enjoyed living at the foot of the Sandias.  Anywhere we went in the valley, we could still see the mountains.  We knew that we could ride the tram, or take a drive, and within minutes we could be at the top, taking in a view that included miles and miles of beautiful valleys and scenery.  God will not keep us in the valley forever - the mountain is always in view to prove it, and that reminds us that our trials are only temporary. 

I can't finish this post without adding my favorite quote from Wintley Phipps.  When I was going through chemotherapy and felt like I was already at the bottom and then the bottom fell out, I clicked on his You-Tube video of "It is Well With My Soul," and this is what he said before he did his magnificent rendition of one my favorite hymns, "It is in the quiet crucible of your personal private sufferings that your noblest dreams are born and God's greatest gifts are given - in compensation for what you have been through."

When I was writing this post about being in the valley and having troubles, I almost hit the delete button to erase every word.  When I considered the devastation I had heard about this week, I felt like my issues were no more than a toothache in comparison.  But we each have troubles, trials, and illnesses that take us into that valley experience.  Not only our physical life is interrupted, but our spirit man is tested.  My own life has been interrupted by Fibromyalgia, Cancer, and now a broken leg, so I want to share my experiences so you know that you can too find God in the valley in a very real and personal way. 

Let us not get in such a hurry to get back to that mountaintop that we miss what He wants to teach us as we sit by that stream in the valley.  The stream that was caused by the rain we thought was just more trouble. And if it rains again, I might just dance in the rain!   

 

Mulch for the Soul

Many times I find myself sitting on my back porch (which is actually a covered gazebo on my patio beside my swimming pool) pondering the lessons of life that God wants to teach me from the garden.  Such was this day - my husband Michael was planting flowers and shrubs with meticulous care (he is now a Master Gardener, so he knows how to tell me WHAT and WHY he is doing what he is doing.)  I noticed he was taking the dead leaves and mulch from last years rakings and putting around the new flowers and plants.  Why? I asked... of course.  And he so patiently explained... there are lots of nutrients to be gained from the mulch from last fall that would boost the plant's growth this spring.  Amazing... I thought...  Take something dead and put on something alive?  Hmmmm.  A few days later, I was reading in a little book my sister gave me during my breast cancer treatments, HANG IN THERE, by Ellyn Sanna. "Sometimes we have to let go of parts of ourselves before we can grow.  It's as though life asks us to die a little bit - and dying is never fun.  But think how tall and strong a garden grows when it's mulched with last year's plants; a garden yields a rich harvest then the soul is nourished with things that have died. I believe God is doing the same in your life.  It may seem as if too much in your life is dying - but if you just hang on, you'll find yourself growing because of these experiences.  These tough times are the "mulch" that will one day nourish your soul."  WOW.  Talk about a "God echo."  When I read that I was overwhelmed because of the application Michael had just mentioned to me a few days prior.  There I sat with a bald head, my body so weakened from chemotherapy, and totally emotionally wiped out from the events of the past few months.  But, in a little spot on my patio, in a little obscure town in Mississippi, God wanted to speak to me and let me know that all the dead stuff He was removing from my life would become the nourishment for my soul for years to come.  I vowed then and there that my cancer journey would not be in vain.  That I would take all the empty, seemingly pointless days, the days of pain and suffering, and put them in a stash to be used later to remind myself of the strength and peace that my Father had given me during the struggles.  And I would offer my testimony to those who were going through a rough spot in their life to assure them that the trust I placed in my God was the sustaining force through all of my rough days.  Fast forward to 2 years later.  I am standing stronger, an overcomer and survivor, and basking in the beauty of His holiness.   
I Peter 5:10-11.  "And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.  To Him be the power forever and ever.  Amen."